So, somehow a conversation with my friend about a certain story peculiarity in Bomberman Tournament ended up spawning the idea of retelling the story of TSA as a series of tweets. IDEK, you guys. It's like half "actual" events and half interwebby stuff. Wish I could write actual prose but this is better than nothing.
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Alcatraz
shirobonbon Heading home from Ksa2, boo. Got this yummy-looking egg though. Maybe I can fry it?
shirobonbon WAIT WHAT A BLACK HOLE?! FML!!!!!!11
shirobonbon is now in jail. Even though he didn't do anything wrong.
shirobonbon Also, I guess I'm now friends with this...thing...named Pommy.
creampuffmimic "pommy" is a better name than "bomberman"!!!
shirobonbon Gonna go find a way out of this hellhole now...
shirobonbon HOLY CRAP YOU GUYS I JUST MET THE CUTEST CHICK EVER
shirobonbon also met some flaming weirdo BUT WHO CARES, CUTE CHICK :awesomeface:
spacelily @shirobonbon You look interesting & helpful. Gonna follow you on here, k? ;)
shirobonbon @spacelily Oh sure thing!
shirobonbon @spacelily BTW you didn't see the last two tweets I just posted on here, lol.
spacelily @shirobonbon ...okay? XD
shirobonbon OH HEY you wouldn't happen to know who @genocidegoddess is? They followed me almost at the same time you did.
spacelily @shirobonbon No, sorry. Must be coincidence!
shirobonbon beat up some machines and hijacked a plane! (An empty one, admittedly, but...)
creampuffmimic is scared of Bomberman's flying.
shirobonbon @creampuffmimic Oh, like YOU could do any better!
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darkmessenger O RLY? RT @crimsonflame was defeated by some dude named Bomberman. Sorry peeps!
lordofthefrozenwastes @darkmessenger NO WAI!
darkmessenger @lordofthefrozenwastes SRSLY!
mistressofthestorm is not surprised.
ragingearth can't get the hang of this "tweeting" thing. why's it called tweeting anyway and not "twitting"?
purifyinglight laughs at @ragingearth's misfortune.
ragingearth you kids these days with your twitter and facespace and mybook!!!!
purifyinglight RTe @crimsonflame was thoroughly and pathetically owned by some douchebag named Bomberman. #bomberdouche
mistressofthestorm @purifyinglight great choice for the hashtag name!
blackbreath didn't realize that Bomberman was on Twitter...wondering what his username is...
darkmessenger is annoyed but optimistic.
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shirobonbon Hey what the frag is up with the top-trending topic on Twitter right now?! I AM NOT A DOUCHE!
spacelily @shirobonbon Yeah um the BHB Army is after you now cuz you defeated Baelfael. Be careful. D:
spacelily @shirobonbon And no you're not a douche, you're very sweet.
shirobonbon @spacelily Awww, thanks!
shirobonbon gonna go rickroll some muthafuggahz now, brb. Or should that be "bhb"? HAHAHAHAHA I kill me.
shirobonbon is wondering how all these chunky stone platforms are just floating in the air.
shirobonbon Is there a source of unobtainium nearby or something?
creampuffmimic doesn't want to fall...
shirobonbon ohddfrag just got bgitetn by snake craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap
shirobonbon is better now, but may have rabies because Pommy bit him.
creampuffmimic @shirobonbon Blech!
shirobonbon OMFG if that asshole weren't already dead I woulda killed him!
shirobonbon In fact, I don't care that he's dead. I'M GOING TO KILL HIM ANYWAY!!!!!
shirobonbon is gleefully beating a dead horse...or a dead Astral Knight as the case may be.
spacelily @shirobonbon What's wrong? :(
shirobonbon HE ALMOST MADE ME LOSE MY PHONE!!!!!
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darkmessenger Isn't that kind of an oxymoron? RT @lordofthewinds uhhh...brb 4ever.
purifyinglight @darkmessenger Emphasis on "moron."
purifyinglight @darkmessenger Is this Bomberman really that strong?
blackbreath @purifyinglight Yes.
purifyinglight @blackbreath ...can I make an overused joke about his power levels?
blackbreath @purifyinglight No.
purifyinglight thinks Bulzeeb is a party-pooper.
darkmessenger Seriously WHO DO I HAVE TO CALL TO BUST A BOMBER AROUND HERE?!
mistressofthestorm @darkmessenger I can do it, dearest Master Rukifellth, if he doesn't visit Molok first.
blackbreath @mistressofthestorm I'll try to say one nice thing about you at your funeral.
purifyinglight is now utterly convinced that Bulzeeb is a party-pooper.
mistressofthestorm Why is @blackbreath so convinced about how strong Bomberman is, anyway?
blackbreath @mistressofthestorm Call it warrior's intuition.
blackbreath @mistressofthestorm It's certainly not like I invaded his home world a few years ago with a bunch of my homeboys and got my ass kicked by him.
blackbreath @mistressofthestorm And it's not like my ego was so shattered by the incident that I have since vowed eternal revenge on Bomberman's soul
blackbreath @mistressofthestorm even going so far as to pretend to work for the god of pure evil just because I could get an awesome shiny thing
blackbreath @mistressofthestorm that would give me EXTREME POWERZ OF DARKNESS made with REAL SHADOWS so I could finally pwn him when I found him again.
blackbreath @mistressofthestorm Because that would just be silly.
mistressofthestorm @blackbreath Ttly.
darkmessenger I SWEAR TO MYSELF I AM SURROUNDED BY N00BS
shirobonbon @spacelily ...except, crap, now I'm trapped on CO instead!
spacelily @shirobonbon :( Sorry?
creampuffmimic Dying of heatstroke. Pommy will sue Bomberman if Pommy dies!
shirobonbon @creampuffmimic You can't sue me if you're dead, you spleenweasel.
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darkmessenger Just got an FB wallpost from @ragingearth saying that he forgot his password to his Twitter & to the e-mail account he used to sign up to Twitter with.
darkmessenger So now he can't sign in here and he doesn't want to sign up for a new account. Sigh.
purifyinglight @darkmessenger Don't worry, I'm still here~! ^_^
blackbreath @darkmessenger Same here.
blackbreath @darkmessenger Hey, just DM'd you about a certain...um...someone.
darkmessenger @blackbreath Got your DM. Don't worry about her, she can't do much with just a sockpuppet account.
purifyinglight @darkmessenger I think me and Bulzeeb should crash at your place for a while. I can bring booze while we wait for Bomberdouche!
darkmessenger @purifyinglight Bad idea – it's a total mess in here. Besides, the situation isn't that drastic.
blackbreath @darkmessenger You've just lost five of your seven Astral Knights, how is that not drastic?!
shirobonbon My Player's Guide calls Thantos the "Prison Planet", but it's more like the Ghetto Planet, amirite?
shirobonbon You know a place is bad when a bomber like me feels like he's not packing enough heat for this crap.
shirobonbon Just stole a motorcycle off some mohawked jackass, haha! CAN YOU FEEL THE RAAAAWWWK?
shirobonbon Off breaking a couple of speed limits, brb.
shirobonbon Crap! Felt bad cuz I almost ran over some dark guy in the street. Then I realized it was Regulzeeb and now I feel even worse for NOT running him over.
shirobonbon Now I'm hiding in...wait, guess I'd better not tweet that. @spacelily, can you help a brotha out here?
spacelily @shirobonbon On my way!
shirobonbon is thankful for @spacelily's help, but wishes she would've let him get one more crotchpunch in on the guy.
spacelily @shirobonbon Whoops, sorry?
spacelily @shirobonbon Also, um, yeah. Sorry about...you know...not telling you about the @genocidegoddess thing.
spacelily @shirobonbon I guess I should've said something earlier but I felt a little...silly.
spacelily @shirobonbon Don't worry though, I'll still be around on this account. ;D
spacelily @shirobonbon Not planning on moving anytime soon! GG is a stealth account for serious spy purposes only. ^_^
creampuffmimic thinks that this is getting complicated. Where's a flowchart when you need it?