Bomberstar
Status: Offline
Joined: 12 Dec 2004 Posts: 1412
 |
#10 Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:46 am |
 |
looking good for the most part dood. Your character interaction is pretty decent.
One technical error I'd like to mention,
"His grandfather’s genes as an Elemental knight let him easily soar through the sky with ease"
You would either want to use "easily" or "with ease" one or the other. Using both doesn't make sense.
It's like saying, "Let's go in the house inside" or "I cooked the dinner I cooked."
And as for the time frame comment. I don't think The 2nd attack took place much later. I seem to remember the instruction book saying it was only a few months later, but if I'm wrong a year or two later at the most.
The time his story takes place in is his call so he can make the skip to the future as long as he wants really. I think the 30s is a believable age for the characters in Bomberman 64. Any older then that though would be pushing it. I'd say 20s or 30s is how old they could've been in Bomberman 64. |
|